


Cold Feet

by PookElucy, sweet_rabbit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comedy, Illustrated, Light Angst, M/M, Reality TV Wedding Show, Voltron General Big Bang 2017, more tags probably added later, the host planet is KLAMEDIA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PookElucy/pseuds/PookElucy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_rabbit/pseuds/sweet_rabbit
Summary: “Right then… Keith?”Keith glared.“Lance?”Lance sniffed.“The two of you will be the focus of the Season Finale Hour Special of the hit reality show 'Love Love Only Today Forever.'”“... What?”“I call the role of bride, I’m in the dress!”“WHAT?!”-Keith and Lance predictably screw up to where they have to get married in order to appease the ravenous fans of the planet Klamedia. All is well, though, since at the end of the day it doesn't mean anything and it would be silly to imagine otherwise. Especially if you're playing the part of the bride.





	1. Pre-Filming Negogiations

**Author's Note:**

> So this and moving have been what I was up do as opposed to updating my other fics, so boop be doop~

 

 

>  

-

“Big news tonight for all of Klamedia: it turns out that the long speculated couple, Red and Blue Paladins of the Mighty Voltron have officially announced their engagement! All of Klamedia is greatly humbled that they have chosen our own ancient, though technically outdated, custom of slamming each other’s heads onto the Stone of All, thus declaring their minds connected and will soon follow through with their hearts. It’s only a matter of time before Princess Allura herself will be speaking with our planet’s delegates to solidify the upcoming event as well as negotiate with the media on whether or not they shall be involved in our-”

Allura clicked off the television, for lack of a better term for what the weird mass with the screen that showed entertainment was, before solemnly turning her attention back to the Paladins. Specifically the red and blue ones who were nursing matching band aids on their foreheads. The picture that was snapped of the two as they walked out of the medic center was spreading like wild fire, complete with over analysis of how close they were standing. Which, needless to say, didn’t matter in the slightest considering how much shit they were in.

“So,” the princess began, “when were you two going to tell us of your apparent longing for one another?”

“Never,” Keith muttered. “Because it’s not a thing that exists!”

“How dare you!” Lance exclaimed. He immediately went from hunched over with his arms crossed to mere inches from Keith’s own curled up ball of anger, cheeks tinted pink. “Don’t think you can get away with proposing to me as if it doesn’t mean anything!”

“It doesn’t, what the hell are you going on about?!” If Keith had fur, it would be fluffed up and on the defensive at that point in time.

“You shoved me first!” Lance emphasized this by shoving the other paladin’s shoulders. “And you were being your annoying quiet, mysterious self and so I just bet you were reading all of that stuff in the museum-”

“Actually it’s more of a planetary land mark than a museum since that would-”

“Not now Hunk, I’m on a roll. But yeah, you were reading all of that info on the wannabe Blarney Stone and shoved me into it in order to ruin my chances with any and all future princesses because you are petty as hell!”

“Okay, first,” Keith practically growled, “you have never had any chance with anybody ever. And second, I can’t read freakin’ Altean, what makes you think I could read Klamedian, a species we just found out existed not one day ago!”

“… Maybe you have Klamedia?”

“Okay, enough!” Shiro finally stepped in. “I am really sick of hearing that word, and yes, I know you phrased it that way on purpose, Lance,” -Lance’s lips turned up in a suspicious cat like smirk at this- “but at the end of the day, this is not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?!” Keith yelled. “I’m engaged to freakin’ Lance!”

“And you should be _honored_.”

“Lance, you’re about to be shunned,” Shiro warned. “And don’t interrupt me again, Keith, or you’re going to the corner. Anyway, I’m saying it’s not a big deal because I highly doubt that a marriage on one planet would mean anything across the universe. Besides, what’s the harm in saying it was a mistake, right Princess?”

Having the five paladin’s attention suddenly turned onto them, the two Alteans exchanged quick uncomfortable looks before avoiding everyone’s eyes and awkwardly coughed or whistled. Everybody else seemed to pick up that the statement Shiro had made was not to be held as truth.

“Seriously?” Pidge finally spoke up on behalf of everyone. “The news lady alien JUST said that it was an outdated tradition! Like, like, the groom asking the bride’s father ‘permission’ to marry her, it’s dumb and nobody actually does it, right?”

“Well,” Coran drawled. “Yes, but the High ?Court still partakes in the tradition in that their marriages can have consequences upon the rest of the planet and it’s expected of them… much like Paladins of Voltron, the Ancient Defender of the Universe, have an impact on the rest of the universe. Not to mention that this planet in particular is oddly obsessed with all of you. I mean, you all saw how quickly that, what did they call it? Purple Fusion, I believe is the ship name, yes, that picture of Lance and Keith with the matching band aids, that has already gained over a million blood oaths-”

“Oh my god.”

“-figuratively speaking, it’s a ‘meme’ of sorts. So, to bluntly put it, there would indeed be a revolt should Lance and Keith not follow through with a large production of a wedding... Who’d’ve thunk-it?”

“It’s basically bad publicity,” Allura clarified. “This planet is quite smitten with Voltron and all of you, so I’m sure you can understand my reluctance to deny their requests.”

The five paladins could only stare at the princess, utterly confused. To their knowledge she had not yet met with any of the representatives of the planet and honestly it hadn't seemed like it would be a long meeting to begin with. So what if Keith and Lance had accidentally announced their not-engagement in front of the paparazzi? The citizens seemed delighted at the fact to the point of concern, not to mention it only could solidify their possible alliance with them.

“Uh, Princess?” Shiro hesitantly asked, hand raised. “What requests did they have exactly?”

Keith and Lance both leaned forward from their spots on the couch, making Allura take a few steps back in preparation for what she was about to announce.

“Well,” she slowly began, “as stated, the five of you are exceedingly popular here. Naturally, with the, ah, wedding announcement in place the demand to witness such a… _beautiful_ ceremony has already been voiced and discussed. Of course we want to be fair to all as we are bringers of peace, right?”

Nobody nodded.

“Right then… Keith?”

Keith glared.

“Lance?”

Lance sniffed.

“The two of you will be the focus of the Season Finale Hour Special of the hit reality show 'Love Love Only Today Forever.'”

“... What?”

“I call the role of bride, I’m in the dress!”

“WHAT?!”

-

“I got, like, twenty young ladies in my family, I’ve seen it all. Weddings, birthdays, showers, quinceañeras, all of it. If there’s one thing I know, the one in the dress not only gets all the awesome spa trips but also makes the decisions, no questions asked. Make no mistake, Keith will know suffering while catering to my every whim to achieve my dream wedding in freakin’ _space_!”

The director and producer practically wept in joy at Lance’s catty pre-show statement. With the hottest couple in the galaxy on their show combined with the backing of their own government, the ratings for "Love Love Only Today Forever" would be intergalactic! It was full proof.

-


	2. Episode 1: Say OMG! to the Dress

-

“So the colors HAVE to be red and blue, our fans wouldn’t accept otherwise and any other option would probably cause riots in the streets. It's our duty to stick to their comfort zone in that regard.”

“Uh huh.”

“Theme though, what is our theme? I’m thinking we should combine our elements somehow, the Klamedians would eat that up!”

“Uh huh.”

“’Fire Dancer in the Artic’ sounds cool, but I don’t know how to fire dance and the fire would probably melt the ice we would need. Unless it’s space ice… Keith, does space ice melt?”

“Uh huh.”

“Does space fire actually freeze, though?”

“Uh huh.”

“We should experiment by lighting your hair on fire with space fire.”

“Uh hu-NO! No, we are not doing that!”

“Then pay attention and at least ATTEMPT to help out!”

“Why should I when I can tell you’re getting off on being a freakin’ bridezilla?”

“How do you know that word yet don’t know basic cheers, my god…”

That was how about a third of the previous evening went for Lance and his “groom.” Needless to say, Lance was disappointed. What was the point of being the star of your wedding when your costar wouldn’t let you boss him around? His wedding plans had barely begun and already they were a complete disaster. Not to say that it wasn’t already, what with pretend marrying Keith of all people. Because of course it had to be Keith, it couldn’t have been Hunk who Lance would be totally chill marrying or even Shiro? No, it had to be Keith. Hot headed, super cool and annoyingly attractive Keith who took up way too much of Lance’s thoughts already.

Speaking of, he was already thinking way too much about the guy when his focus should be entertaining the masses. It was their first day of shooting, after all, so it was time for classic reality show ad bate.

“Do we really have to do the dress first?” Lance whined.

Lance was fully aware of two things in that moment: the first was that of course they had to do the dress first, it took the longest to get ready when you take into account finding the right one, ordering it, then having it altered to the perfect fit. The entire ordeal took months, so it was obviously the first part of planning that needed to be started, especially when said wedding was happening in less than a week. The second was that that statement was the perfect scene opener for TV, hence why he said it. He would expect thanks later.

He would also be the first to state that, yes, he was absolutely overreacting for the camera. In fact, he had made sure to have a meeting with his fellow paladins and most esteemed Alteans to inform them of the realities of reality shows, a class that took up the other two thirds of his evening after Keith had stormed out in a fit. The main point being that the shows were not, in fact, reality at all and every small emotion they may feel while on camera should be expanded tenfold.

Thus, his whining about picking out the dress first because seriously, of course he was excited about that! It was easily the best part considering how once it was in his possession it would assert his dominance over the entire presiding’s of the farce of a wedding.

“I thought you were excited about the dress?” Allura questioned.

Lance shot her a look hoping to get the message of, “damnit, Allura, what did we JUST talk about?” through his eyes. When all he got in return was a glare, he decided he had to change tactics for the sake of television.

“Of course I am!” he declared. “I just worry about, uh… you know, my lovely groom seeing it before the wedding? If we got it last then there’s less time to hide if from him!”

-

_“It’s a tradition on parts of Earth that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride’s dress before the Big Day. And Keith is a super sneak and can’t be trusted!”_

-

“Yeah, like Keith is going to give a rat’s pattootie,” Pidge unhelpfully added.

Lance felt his fingers twitch in the desperate want to shake some sense into these women. Allura had an excuse of being asleep for ten thousand years as well as being an alien, but Pidge should have been fully aware of reality show rules and at least picked up on Lance’s prompts for proper conversations that wouldn’t end up on the cutting room floor… or whatever was being used, the equivalent to Earth cameras had to be pointed out to the group so they would know what to look at/try not to look at.

“He cares about _me_ , though," Lance countered. "And that’s where his curiosity is sparked!”

Another successful save if the happy look from the crew was any indication. Yup, Lance could definitely pull off the role of Princess very well. Probably better than Allura.

“That is true,” Allura added with a cute giggle. Pure commercial clip footage, right there. “Even before your, ah, rather surprising announcement I had noticed that Keith certainly is much more lively and outgoing when you’re around.”

Lance could feel his ears heat up at the comment. Did Keith really act different with Lance? Certainly with Shiro, yeah, they were brothers or something, but was she serious?

‘Of course not,’ Lance thought to himself. ‘She’s just playing it up for the show, don’t start looking into stuff that’s not there, it's silly.’

“I’ll say,” Pidge echoed. “For the Guardian of Fire, or whatever, he sure spends a suspicious amount of time in the pool. Now we know why!”

“W-Well, what, is he supposed to sun bathe on the ship’s deck or something?” Lance grumbled out. It was weird hearing the girls talk like that, it was coming across like Keith was stalking him. Good fodder for fans, but not for his mind.

As the two girls laughed at Keith’s expense, Lance was desperately trying to put some brakes on his brain because, damn, was it trying to speed away from him. There was absolutely nothing to look into with Pidge or Allura’s statements, again, it was all for the cameras and they were loving it if the thumbs up from the producer accompanying them was anything to go by. Lance returned it with a strained smile as he did his best to confidently swagger into the dress shop place… thing. Again, aliens and all that, lots of guess work.

Stepping into the dress shop, Lance immediately could tell that this was definitely a high end boutique versus just your average Space David’s Bridal. Primarily because there weren’t any dresses aside from the few manikins in the window. That meant that it was all up to the consultant, who appeared to be waiting for their arrival if the Klamedian woman standing in the middle of the entry way with the bigger than assumed average smile was anything to go by.

“Greetings and welcome, esteemed Paladins of Voltron and Your Highness Princess Allura!” she exclaimed. Yup, definitely the lady in charge of them today. “I am the Blue Paladin’s consultant for today, Tarka. I hope to be of most help to not only yourself but your future Life Mate, as well.” 

“Yeah, but like, how’s this gonna work, exactly?” he asked as they were greeted by their consultant who, no doubt, was probably doing her own interview for scene context later. “Because I’m pretty sure I don’t fit the typical Klamedian body type.”

-

_“I already figured that the long legs and lack of tiny extra arms might be a problem. Seriously, my legs are long by Earth standards, here they’re coming close to three times the length and I ain’t wearing a mini dress! Mama would have a fit if she found out… well, I mean, she’s not here, she’s on Earth so she won’t know since she’s not coming. It’s probably for the best, wouldn’t want her to see the disaster I’m marrying.”_

_After hearing a rather unhappy cough Lance added on, “Ha, it’s a joke, totally a joke, we do that!”_

_He hated to admit it, but Keith and he had a special relationship that others clearly didn’t understand. They had a “thing” and that “thing” rarely involved cuteness, sadly._

-

Tarka appeared to give him a once over, a little difficult to tell admittedly considering Klamedian’s eyebrows tended to cover their entire eyes and also were cut in different styles like Earth, and apparently Altean, hair. Still, they were quite expressive and if her elongated thumb claw to her puckered mouth was the same gesture for deep thought as it was on Earth, then hopefully they could all manage.

“Not a problem!” Tarka suddenly exclaimed. “Some extra fabric is all we really need and we of course have plenty of that!”

“What about the extra arms?” Pidge asked with a raised hand.

“The little glimpse of skin will be tantalizing for the Sir Blue’s Life Mate.”

It was possible that she winked to them after that, but who knows. Lance was too distracted by Pidge’s elbow repeatedly stabbing him in the side. He didn’t have to look down to know she had a huge grin on her face chock full of dirty implications.

“Now then!” Tarka continued. “Let’s get those measurements, shall we?”

Tarka pulled out two small balls from the pockets of her rather smart blazer and proceeded to circle Lance while beeping kept being heard from the contraptions. Pidge’s eyes were sparkling at the display while Allura was eyeing the back rooms that looked to be housing all of the dresses.

“Sooooo,” the princess began, “that door over there, I’m not familiar with Klamedia’s writing system. Is that where all the dresses are kept?”

-

_“As royalty, I will be the first to admit that my wardrobe growing up might have been a little… above the pay grade of what others on Altea could afford. Most of them were gifts, by the way. Even still, I have to say that I’m quite excited to be shopping with Lance! As Protectors of the Universe our schedule is very tight, and the two of us have only recently discovered our mutual love for, oh what did he refer to it as? A ‘Treat Yo’ Self’ day, if you will, and so it seems that joyous day has arrived! In the form of super self-indulgent, all-expense paid, on the house, over the top, floofy extreme princess wear! Oh, I’m so excited to see all of the dresses and how they'll look! Er, on him, Lance. I am excited for him… yes.”_

-

“Indeed it is, Your Majesty,” Tarka replied while expertly swatting Pidge away with her tiny waist arms. “Obviously we can’t have them all out in the open, that would spoil the surprise and excitement of it all. Picking your wedding dress should be like receiving a gift, even though you might need to go through many to find the right one. I assure you that you will know The One when you first look at your reflected image, don’t you worry Sir Blue Paladin!”

Lance couldn’t help the little smile tugging at his cheeks at the rather sweet sentiment. It was obvious that Tarka was quite passionate about her career and Lance couldn’t wait to see what she thought would look best on him, especially considering the completely different body shapes. It would be impressive to watch her work. However, side eyeing Allura and Pidge as they edged towards the door that housed all of the dresses, Lance found he did have to make a special request.

“Hey, Tarka?” he asked as her rather long upper arms reached all the way to the top of his head, the small device beeping before she pulled away.

“Yes, Sir Blue Paladin?”

“Ah, Lance is fine, I feel like you’re the one in charge here so I should be answering to you, anyway.”

“You’re too kind! As expected of the Blue Paladin.”

“Heh, yeah… but, uh, see my friends over there are super excited to help out here and while I will probably just go with your advice dress wise, we were wondering if they could also choose something for me?”

Pidge and Allura both lit up with joy at the question and turned sparkly eyes towards Tarka as they eagerly waited for a response.

“Hm… If I may be honest with you, it is against regulations to allow anyone except staff back there… but if it is for the esteemed Protectors of the Universe then I suppose I can break protocol just this once!”

It probably helped that they were going to be on TV, too, but the girls paid it no mind as they dashed into the back with barely contained squeals of excitement.

-

_“I’m not the biggest on fashion. I’m more into the aesthetics of data than clothes, but hey, Lance gave me explicate permission to find the tackiest piece of crap I can to put him in while also taking pictures. Some would argue that this was cruel, but I would counter that they don’t know Lance and that he was completely on board with this idea. Allura will probably look for something decent, but me? No way, this gal is gonna find the laciest, frilliest dress with the poofiest sleeves this side of the universe or so help me God!”_

-

Lance couldn’t wait to try on the tackiest piece of crap Pidge could find, that was a portion of the fun of wedding dress shopping.

“How heavy are the dresses, usually?” Lance asked Tarka as she lead him to a changing room. She even handed him a gloriously silky short robe for modesty as he waited for the dresses.

“That depends,” she responded.

“On the price?”

“Well, well, it looks like you know your stuff, Sir Lance!”

“Let’s just say I got plenty of experience on the subject. If Keith, or Sir Red Paladin, were here, he would be zero help to you and would probably just try on the first thing you gave him and say, ‘s’ good, I’m outta here.’” That was probably his best Keith impression yet, complete with slouching.

“Then I’m glad to have gotten to help you, instead, on your most happiest of days! Tell me, how long have you been planning this?”

Lance was thankful that he was behind a changing wall because not only would his body be exposed, but his facial expression of panic. “Um, planning what, exactly?”

“Your wedding, of course! I’m sure that you’ve been told many times how honored all of Klamedia is to have the Paladins of Voltron choose our humble planet out of thousands to have their wedding. Surely that took many moons to discuss and plan and examine, I’m curious as to how the two of you came to your decision?”

Obviously he couldn’t be truthful and say that there was no decision process done at any time until after the unfortunate and totally Keith’s fault of a public engagement happened. There was really barely any discussion between the two even after the fact. Truly and honestly, Lance was really the only one excited about this, Keith was just being dragged along for the ride to save face. He would never even consider marrying Lance, that was for sure.

Probably not even for a date.

“… Sir Lance, are you okay back there?”

“Y-Yes!” he quickly answered. “Just lost in beautiful memories, is all!”

He could hear her excited clapping at that answer, and assumed that he had properly distracted her for the time being. Besides, this was about dresses, not Keith!

“Got it!” Pidge suddenly exclaimed as she nearly broke down the door to get in. Just in time for Lance to have become decent in his shorty robe that very nicely showed off his legs. Perhaps the boutique would be willing to part with it?

“Pidge,” Lance solemnly started. “I trust that you didn’t dare to bring into my sanctuary of a changing room a garment lacking puff sleeves that don’t reach at least my ears, yes?”

“I’m insulted you would assume otherwise. Check this out!”

With an expert flick of the wrist, Pidge produced a gloriously gaudy abomination of taffeta, a cloth so tacky that it of course transcended space travel. Lance’s eyes were probably three times their regular size, but that was a good thing because it increased his peripheral vision to where he saw the camera crew zoom in on Pidge’s choice for Lance, only to be confused. It appeared that even on Klamedia this was a piece of crap.

“Get me in that, NOW!”

-

_“It looks awful in Pidge’s hands, it’s bound to look awful on me…! Let me rephrase that, I will make it look good but I do have standards. And a dress that belongs in a theme park is not one of them, especially if an entire planet and possibly more planets are watching me. Still, I NEED IT.”_

-

It took a lot of clips and tugging to get the dress to look like Lance could actually wear it, complete with Tarka insisting that the staff could absolutely have a dress completely tailored to his alien body by the end of the week, but somehow that dress got onto Lance’s frame.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try this with the extra fabric before we go out?” Tarka asked. “It’s no problem to grab some and pin it around your fascinatingly long legs. I’m fully able to even add some draping!”

“No need,” Lance proclaimed. “Not with this one, it’s perfect as it is. Onward!”

Peeking out the door, Lance noticed that Allura was still missing. She must have been quite dedicated to finding a legitimately nice dress for the groom bride. Her loss, Lance was sure Pidge would take plenty of pictures to show everybody later. Specifically after the wedding, couldn’t have Keith getting a glimpse of any dress before the big day.

“Behold!” Lance announced as he twirled out of the dressing room, gracefully stepping onto the podium in one elegant leap.

Pidge was probably going to die of asphyxiation with how hard she was laughing.

Sure enough, the three way mirror provided an even better look at the abysmal dress Pidge had put him in, and it was more glorious than Lance could have dreamed of. The poof sleeves were present not only on his shoulders, but also on his sides where a Klamedian’s waist arms would be, and were pretty much taking up the entire sleeves themselves. The sweetheart neckline wasn’t too bad, if a little itchy, and there was a beautifully tacky bow right on his butt. Best of all was the skirt which flared out like a tutu.

“You done good, Pidge!” Lance said.

“I’ll say!” Pidge agreed, quickly taking as many pictures as possible despite her shaking. “You look like an otaku who insisted on a Sailor Moon themed wedding, but has two extra baby arms due to an ingrown twin.”

Lance nearly fell off of the podium from his near eruption of laughter. He was sure Pidge caught it all on film and if there was a space youtube, he hoped it would go viral.

“So, ahem,” Tarka kind of coughed. “I… I assume this is the dress you choose?”

“Oh GOD no!” Lance cackled. “This is just for fun, don’t worry, I can see you trying not to judge us, you’re good!” He wasn’t sure if Klamedians could sweat, nor did he care, but he had a feeling that Tarka was doing something similar in regards to their enthusiasm. “Now for the serious dresses, totally serious from here on out. Promise!”

-

_“I won’t lie… I kind of wanted to get that dress solely to see Keith’s reaction as I walked down the aisle.”_

-

_“We’re buying that dress anyway, I don’t care, we NEED that on our ship! Allura has no say in this, it is law now! We’ll make a shrine with it to proclaim Keith and Lance’s love!”_

-

As it turned out, despite their difference in anatomy, Tarka was able to pull some lovely dresses for Lance to try on. For the most part, they agreed that a full length gown was more appropriate for such a formal ceremony, and sure enough the consultant was able to expertly drape fabric around his legs. They also agreed that sleeves would be best, too. Lance had at first tried to convince her that sleeveless would be best simply because he worried that it would be too much work for the seamstress to achieve in such a short time, but Tarka insisted stating that, “It looks lovely on you, and I can tell you prefer it, so that’s what will happen.”

They were on the fifth dress of Tarka’s choice, when Allura finally emerged from the labyrinth of dresses. Lance eyed the gown in her arms, held delicately so as not to ruin a single thread as opposed to how Pidge had practically manhandled her own choice. It must have been a serious one, then.

“Oh my, Lance!” the princess exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. “You look lovely!”

“Was there ever any doubt?” Lance cheekily replied. He could see Allura’s fond eye roll from the mirror, only making his grin grow larger as Pidge chuckled at the scene.

“I apologize for taking so long, Miss Tarka. There is quite the collection of dresses in your procession, so needless to say I was quite distracted trying to find one I feel would be to Lance’s taste.”

“Oh, let’s have a look then,” Tarka said. Holding up the gown in her longer arms, Tarka fanned out the rest of the dress with her smaller waist arms. “My my, you definitely picked quite the elegant piece, Your Majesty! And you even chose one with longer sleeves, we had just decided that to be the most appropriate. Ah, but the skirt might be a little tight if we were to extend it.”

“That was on purpose, actually. I was thinking that it would most likely hit him at his mid-thigh, to which we could add draping that would fan out at the bottom. Oh, what did you tell me that cut was, Lance?”

“It’s, uh, it’s called a mermaid cut,” Lance answered. He could feel his cheeks heat up at that, which probably extended down to his exposed shoulders from the current dress’ off the shoulder cut. He was admittedly thrilled by Allura’s idea.

“A mermaid cut, huh?” Pidge mumbled. “That would be perfect for our resident mermaid.”

“Forgive me,” Tarka said. “What exactly is a ‘mermaid?’”

“It’s a myth on Earth, our home planet. In our oceans mermaids are said to be beautiful women with human bodies on top and fins for their bottom half. Basically what our Guardian of Water wishes he was.”

As the others tittered about how perfect the idea was, Lance was keeping quiet in hopes that his legitimate excitement wouldn’t show. It would be perfect for the show, sure enough told to him by the cameras getting closer on his face. However, when it came to the others who knew this was all fake, he was concerned that they would start questioning him about why he was so into this ridiculous excuse for an alliance stipulation.

-

_“I really do think Lance will like my pick. He and I share similar tastes, and yes I would consider it for myself, but at the end of the day it is much more suited towards Lance.”_

-

Lance had been instructed to keep his back turned as Tarka pinned and clipped the fabric up along the existing dress’s hem. Already, though, he knew the outcome. He could feel it as he softly pet the delicate lace and noticed how the open back was wide enough that there was no need for little arm holes along the waist, making it resemble more of the gowns he would see his cousins and older sisters try on back home. The sleeves were already close to appropriate length, too, dotted with tiny crystals resembling water droplets.

He was scared to turn around to see the near finished picture because it had only been one day of pretending to be getting happily married to Keith and it was already feeling too dangerously real.

“There! I do believe you’ve done it, Your Majesty. Sir Lance looks stunning.”

“Thank you, Tarka, that’s quite the compliment coming from an expert. Go on, Lance, take a look for yourself!”

With a deep breath, Lance slowly turned to see his three reflections looking back at him with no longer an overly exaggerated grin but instead with as much fear as he was truly starting to feel.

“Damn...”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the reviews and kudos! Hope the story continues to be entertaining. :)
> 
> And to answer a question from the previous chapter: yes it is indeed pronounced that way.


	3. Episode 2: Floral Food Arrangements

-

_“You can question me or even torture me, I’ll never tell you anything! I have nothing to say, especially about Lance!”_

-

“I hate to break it to you, Keith, but the producers are probably just going to edit it so that it looks like you’re shy,” Hunk said. “Or that you have naughty stuff planned for the honeymoon… Or-”

“I don’t need to hear anything more after that second one,” Keith grumbled.

While Lance and his entourage went to get the dress, a concept Keith was still questioning the reason behind, Shiro, Hunk and himself were tasked with choosing the flowers. That second part was also a concept Keith was still questioning. Hell, the entire wedding was a questionable concept, was this alliance really worth his dignity? He wasn’t allowed to answer that because apparently simply being a Protector of the Universe didn’t deem him worthy enough to object to idiocy. Especially considering Coran got to go look at venues. Why was Keith stuck with looking at plants, shouldn’t Pidge be doing this part? Keith needed to look at venues in order to gauge which had the best escape routes and space for a fight.

Also, Keith didn’t know anything about flowers. He grew up in a desert shack with his father, who, looking back, probably had them so isolated to protect Keith the Half Alien Galra Baby from government experiments. Basically, the subject wasn’t exactly on the list of “important things to know.”

“Don’t worry, buddy!” Hunk continued. “It’s easy, you just have to point to what looks pretty.”

-

_“Like he did with Lance, heh.”_

-

“That one,” Keith quickly said while pointing to what was on a shelf.

Hunk and Shiro both regarded the potted plant, then each other, then Keith before Shiro finally took the initiative and said, “I think that that’s just decoration for the room, not one of our options, seeing how we haven’t actually started the consultation.”

“Then it needs to leave. Like us.”

“Just wait until the florist comes in.”

There was no time for that! Keith huffed and crossed his arms, making sure the cameras got a good view of how annoyed he was. Yeah, let their brainless followers see how not happy he was about getting married to Lance of all people. Let their hearts break so he can bathe in their tears. He couldn’t wait until their episode aired as a successful smack down to their hopes and dreams.

-

_“I’ve known Keith a long time, he gets really grumpy when he’s nervous. Everything is fine!”_

-

As the silence continued on, only being awkward for two of the three seated paladins, Keith could feel his blood rate increase in anger at his situation. A near full week was being completely wasted for something as stupid as upholding a no longer practiced tradition. And for what? So this planet with no other worries than making sure people whom they didn’t even know got married for their entertainment? And Allura wanted to have an alliance with them?

Needless to say that that was not how Keith would be running things, should he be in charge… which may or may not have proven to be not the best of ideas to begin with if asked other sources, admittedly.

Still, he was having an even harder time understanding a more important fact: Lance was way too into the charade.

The Blue Paladin certainly seemed to enjoy being the center of attention, that was true, but surely he wouldn’t want to be sharing the spot light with his “sworn rival” Keith of all people. How quickly Lance had agreed to the absurdity of the situation was bizarre and even more so how positively giddy he was about it. Hell, the guy had written out a schedule for the entire week that night and had insisted that Keith participate in its planning. Somehow it was thrust onto him to choose not only the flowers but also the food, the excuse being that the dress took the longest and since Hunk was more a gourmet than a fashionista (implying Pidge apparently was?) then the recently dubbed Best Man of Honor would be accompanying them.

The next day was to be just the happy couple checking the final venues Coran had dubbed decent enough, followed with the rehearsal dinner and finally the wedding itself.

The Honey Moon was just a known subject to be avoided.

Oh God, now I’m thinking about it, Keith realized. Crap where is that flower alien? I need a distraction, especially since Lance is getting his wedding dress, dear Lord, right now and they might try and get him some lingerie and no, no, no, we’re not going there, but what about that garter tradition will I-?

“Sorry for the wait!” the florist finally greeted the three as he swept in. “My name is Brindal, I had a couple of rather testy flowers to take care of, but they’re sleeping now so we can finally get down to business, Dearest Paladins.”

The three paladins in question all exchanged a look, a silent agreement passing between them not to ask.

“It’s no trouble,” Shiro assured him. “We do have another consultation for the food later today, but I’m sure you already have some ideas to help guide us through this.”

“You flatter me, Sir Black!” The Klamedian quickly turned around to open a large cabinet, some sort of steam or mist pouring out as they did so. “But you are also correct. I do pride myself on my business thoroughly researching our clients beforehand all in favor of providing a quick decision. I am aware of how much stress goes on in wedding planning, it’s part of the job, but to be attempting to do so in less than a week’s time is nothing short of heart attack inducing, I’m sure!”

“Eh, I’m handling it,” Keith grunted.

-

_“Keith isn’t handling it, but don’t tell him that. Or Lance, my bud don’t need that kind of stress during this. I don’t need this kind of stress, either, but here I am taking on all of the stress for everybody ‘cause that’s what Hunk does! He stresses! That’s apparently part of the job being the Yellow Paladin and the Best Man of Honor, so just pile it on me, I freakin love it! … NO I DON’T NEED ANY WATER, THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THAT WAS VERY KIND OF YOU!!!”_

-

“Wonderful!” Brindal spun back around to face the three, brandishing two potted flowers in his upper hands while the lower ones gestured as he spoke. “I admit I may have gone a bit clichéd in my first pick for you two, but you can’t go wrong with blue and red flowers for the respected Blue and Red Paladins.”

“It’s practically expected,” Hunk commented.

“Exactly, it’s a bit of a shame, really. But we’ll make due. Luckily, both of these gorgeous specimens actually complement one another quite well in that-”

“You are so right!” Keith exclaimed, suddenly standing up. “I mean, wow, I can’t believe how perfect these are! They are so me and Lance, it’s freaky, what with all of the petals and spines and weird liquids pouring out of that blue one, they’re perfect! You, Brindal, are great at your job and I assure you that I will absolutely recommend your business and expertise to any couple I come across who plans to get married on the great planet of Klamedia, just… fantastic, I love them, we’ll take fifty, okay bye.”

-

_“I meant every word I said. Prove that I didn’t…”_

-

As Keith tried not to stomp down the side walk, he could hear Hunk and Shiro calling after him. He figured that the producers and camera people would have been, as well, if they were allowed to talk. Instead they were most likely cursing him in their heads. At least, Keith hoped they were. It made him feel much better to think that he was causing them grief.

So long as that grief didn’t trickle over to Lance, because being chastised by his bride-to-be did not sound like fun. He ideally wanted to avoid the guy at all costs until absolutely necessary, what with how weirdly excited he was about everything.

“Keith, stop!” Hunk finally caught up to him, huffing and grabbing the Red Paladin’s shoulder. “If you keep broodily walking away from us, it will only increase your bad boy appeal!”

“What Hunk means to say is,” Shiro nearly hissed, apparently trying to avoid the cameras hearing him as they were still struggling to join them, “try not to be too much of a brat on what might be near universal television!”

“I didn’t, but yeah, I’ll agree with that sentiment. Can’t have you sending a bad message to possible other alliances. Or, back to my original point, you might get a fan club and I know you well enough that that is something you would hate.”

Keith sighed through his nose as the crew finally got to them, unable to respond that if judging by this planet, it was a little late to be worrying about possible fan clubs.

Looking towards the crew, Keith could see the producer furiously typing on some holo-pad-thing. More than likely the schedule had gotten screwed up and they didn’t have nearly as much footage of Keith being wowed by flower arrangements. From the little bit he had bothered paying attention to of the producer’s briefing, he was supposed to pretend to be interested in what assortments would go where or whatever, despite full knowledge that the majority of decisions in regards to designs had already been made. Keith was just supposed to pick the flowers. Which he did, thus his job was done.

Except for the food choices, which he would actually have to make an effort with.

Despite Hunk probably taking full control of that area.

-

_“Food is food, so long as it nourishes you for battle and doesn’t taste like barf it’s fine. I’m, uh… only doing this for Lance.”_

-

_“Keith’s palate is flawed and I refuse to let him make any uninformed decisions on the matter. You hear that Lance?! I got your back!”_

-

_“Yeah, no, Keith lived off of canned food for the majority of his life, he has no business making food choices for others. We’d all end up eating beans.”_

-

As the producer talked on his phone thing, perhaps trying to salvage the lost time they would have for footage regarding flowers, Keith let his eyes wonder around the street. He really didn’t want to talk as that would just give them more ammo, or film, whatever. Basically, he was keeping his trap shut and only planned to answer yes or no questions. Hell, he could probably just shake or nod his head. That would really piss everybody off.

Except suddenly Keith found that, no… no he could not keep his mouth shut because what just so happened to catch his eye also put him into a near blinded rage.

There, sitting on what seemed to be some sort of holographic news stand, was a magazine featuring the very show they were filming for complete with an embarrassingly obvious alien equivalent of photo shopped image of Keith and Lance hugging.

“What the fuck is that?!” Keith screeched, drawing everybody’s attention, aka the exact opposite of what he was wanting barely ten seconds ago.

The news stand guy was clearly caught off guard because all he could offer was a couple of splutters and helpless gestures between Keith and the magazine.

Ripping the holopad off of its holder, Keith thrust it into the guy’s face. “This! This is defamation of character and I demand to know the source of your lies! I did not agree nor participate in any photo shoot, much less one where I allow Lance to have his arms around me on a fake bike that is way too lame for me to ever even consider sitting on! Oh yeah, Lance maybe would since he has no shame but my GOD, did you people even consider my taste?! Yeah I know I’m marrying Lance but-!”

-

_“Keith gets ornery when he doesn’t eat and he didn’t eat today because, uh, he wanted to make sure he had an appetite for the tasting? Yeah, that’s it! We are very professional, I assure you.”_

\-  

“You know the harder you try to not be featured heavily in the show,” Hunk mumbled as he carefully looked over the provided menu, “the more you will be. Plus, you are about fifty percent of the appeal, you can’t escape it.”

“Just watch me,” Keith replied. “I’ll find a way to slip these guys. Can’t be too hard.”

“Just don’t punch anybody, this is for diplomacy,” Shiro added. “… I don’t know what any of this says, Hunk, how are you able to even consider any of these menu plans?”

“If you tap on the words a little picture comes up,” he said. “Pretty cool feature, gotta say! Oh this one looks good, the main course is flambéed upon serving so that should go good with the fire portion of the theme. On that note, Keith what do  you think of ice cream for the wedding cake? It’s nontraditional, yeah, but I know that Lance would love it since it’ll stands out!”

-

_“I’m confused, is our theme red and blue or fire and ice? Lance doesn’t tell me these things…”_

-

_“Lance specifically told Keith like two nights ago that the theme was ‘Under the Sea Volcano,’ and I’m saying this because I have a feeling that at this very moment Keith is in the other interview room claiming he doesn’t know the theme. And thus you all see why I am the Best Man of Honor.”_

-

“Yeah, sure,” Keith answered.

As he mindlessly tapped on random words to see what pictures would come up, Keith found himself legitimately trying to think of what food Lance would like. He himself didn’t care, since he had yet to try an alien food as good as a simple can of beans heated on the stove, but Lance most definitely would. He cared a lot about this wedding. 

Should I? Keith briefly thought. He quickly shook his head rejecting that idea. What was the point? It had been made perfectly clear that he was terrible at diplomacy and it was best for him to stick to stabbing, something he was very okay with. Lance on the other hand was gifted with social expertise and thrived in diplomacy, a concept Allura and Coran sunk their claws into once they finally noticed it. So that was all this was, Lance being a good face for Voltron to further their fight against the Galra Empire.

He’s trying really hard, Keith reflected. And here I am throwing a fit over flowers and food that’s apparently really high end. Ugh, not to mention it would just prove Shiro right that I’m acting like a brat, can’t have that.

While Hunk tried to explain to Shiro what each dish was, it was finally slowly but surely dawning on Keith that despite marrying somebody he would have previously never considered, it didn’t actually mean anything and it wouldn’t kill him to attempt to not be unpleasant to everything that moves and some things that don’t. Lance was clearly excited, after all it was really just one big party. And marriages technically only make a difference if you stay on that specific planet for benefits and stuff. Once they leave it wouldn’t mean a thing.

And besides, Lance was clearly working hard so, yeah, Keith felt he should at least make an effort to choose food his supposed bride would like for their “Big Day.”

“Hey Hunk,” Keith started, “have you concluded whether or not red colored foods are universally spicy or not?”

Hunk looked up from the hologram of some sort of squishy mist (possibly a sauce?), apparently surprised by Keith’s question.

“Uh, no, definitely not,” he said. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you know… Lance, um, likes spicy food so we should get that… right?”

It took a second or two, but realization soon dawned on Hunk’s face in the form of a wide grin and sparkly eyes. Keith could also feel Shiro holding in a happy squeal at his little brother finally accepting diplomacy in his own awkward way. The red paladin refused to turn around and acknowledge that embarrassment.

“Yeah, of course, man!” Hunk exclaimed. “Lance loves spicy food, yes, so you’re right!”

“I mean, of course,” Keith said, trying not to bury his face into the menu to hide his awkwardness. “I-I’m marrying him, so I totally know his favorite food flavors, or something…”

“Uh huh, like, uh, we should definitely try to find something similar to burgers. Right Keith?”

“Right! Absolutely, yup, Lance loves burgers. It’s a fact.”

“And garlic knots.”

“And garlic knots! Lance likes food!”

A not so soft kick to his shin from Shiro notified him to turn it down a notch.

The three paladins quickly started to have a legitimate discussion for the first time that day that actually involved the groom to be. The caterer assisting them was even able to whip up a few samples of the items they had deemed most earth like, and were surprisingly good. It helped that they did, in fact, resemble burgers making the first bite easier to take.

The process obviously took longer than the flowers what with Keith’s attitude change, but all in all they felt that what they ended up with would be enjoyed by at least 99% of the attending guests. And, Keith reflected, even if they had ended up with an absolutely atrocious meal plan, Lance would probably eat it anyway while making everybody laugh at his reactions. The blue paladin was able to find fun in just about everything, so it was really no wonder he was so excited about this.

As Keith signed his name on the caterer’s insurance form, officially completing their menu plan, Keith found himself actually excited about his fake wedding instead of apprehensive and admittedly a bit fearful.

He also couldn’t wait to see Lance’s face when confronted with a suddenly opinionated Keith in regards to venues the next day.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly no art this chapter, but trust us when we say we REALLY wanted to try and make a terribly photo-shopped wedding magazine cover. It was not meant to be. Thanks for all of the comments and kudos! Art in the next chapter and the start of ANGST WHOO


	4. Episode 3: Venues to Rehearse and Talk In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JESUS last week didn't want me to be happy O_o.

-

Lance wouldn’t be able to tell someone exactly what he was envisioning when told he would be married on a planet named after an Earth STD in regards to venues, but he would definitely say that he was not expecting something so… standard.

He also couldn’t decide whether or not the looks on his face should show his true feelings or not. See, if he made his disappointment obvious then that could be potential for add bumps as well as a possible after-wedding statement from him claiming he was wrong and that this was “the best wedding ever!” A lie, yes, though it was for the sake of the universe hence why he would do it. However, on the topic of diplomacy, it could possibly insult whoever owned the incredibly drab building that looked like it was some sort of state capital.

“Is this the state capital?” Lance went ahead and asked.

“Why yes, Lance, how astute of you!” Coran cheered.

Fake joy it was then.

“Oh, how perfect!” the bride to be tittered.

“How can you claim that when you haven’t even seen the inside of it, yet?” the groom to be groused, as expected.

“I’m just saying the concept of having our ceremony here makes sense, seeing how all of the officials here want to attend anyway. And it looks big!”

“Exactly why I chose it as our number one, Number Three,” Coran added, giving Lance a pat on the head. “The inside can hold over a thousand bodies, alive, while also hosting enough rest rooms and outdoor space for all to breathe easy! And in addition to a garden complete with a maze for what are sure to be passable wedding pictures, the flooring is made from the melted skeletal remains of past Heads of State dating even further back than when Kind Alfor last visited this planet!”

-

_“I was actually there for a meeting or two! Posed for a picture, even, and like all dignitary visits the momentous occasion was framed to be placed in the Grand Hall of Negotiations… On that note, I couldn’t find it when we passed through there. Perhaps my handshake was too firm? Bit of a strained face on the then leader?”_

-

“How… charming?” Lance had little choice but to agree with this option. Then again, he supposed Coran was Royal Advisor for a reason and thus should accept his advice. You couldn’t claim the man hadn’t made an uninformed decision, either.

With a hopefully not strained grin, Lance took a deep breath and looped his arm with Keith’s in an attempt at looking like they were in love. It turned out to be for the best not only for time but for mental preparation as well that the previous day was spent separately. That way the two could get use to the cameras following them around at their own pace without the strain of the impending marriage. Keith seemed his usual stoic self, so Lance could only assume that he had accepted his temporary fate of Mr. Blue Paladin considering his arm hadn’t been chopped off since linking with Lance’s. There were no weapons allowed during filming as they clashed with the atmosphere the show wanted to produce, but history showed Keith didn’t give a fuck.

“What are you giggling about?” Keith quietly asked, taking Lance out of his musing.

“Oh, uh,” the man in question stuttered. “Just, you know, silly stuff.”

“Hm…”

Lance could feel his face turning red in embarrassment. It was good stuff for the cameras, but bad for his own stress. Hopefully Keith would accept that the giggle was for show and not because Lance was reflecting on how stupidly endearing the red paladin’s obsession with always being prepared was. It wasn’t his fault that the image of boy scout Keith was both hilarious and adorable!

“Come on, keep up,” Keith said as he tugged him through the arching doorway.

The building was indeed an impressive piece of architecture, Lance could admit. Intricate carvings without being too overwhelming decorated the pillars throughout the large open area, with a shining floor reflecting the planet’s sun to beautifully light up the room with natural light. It almost made one forget Coran’s previous statement that that shine was somehow created with skeletons.

“It’s really pretty,” Lance commented to technically Keith, but also for the camera directed on him to catch his reaction.

“But?” Keith responded. Lance could feel him side eyeing him.

“What but? There’s no but.”

“Come on, that’s not an awe struck Lance reaction.”

“Oh really? And what would such a reaction entail, exactly?”

“You looking like you’re trying to catch flies with how wide your mouth would be hanging open.”

-

_“Heh heh, yeah, uh, Keith’s always teasing me like that. Even on TV, he doesn’t let up!”_

-

“Excuse you! That is in incorrect statement and I would like you detract it this very instant!”

Keith’s eyes widened a bit and his brow furrowed as the two slowed down. Coran was still going on about the history of the building, probably aware the two weren’t listening but not really caring.

“I-I’m sorry?” he finally said.

“You better be… The proper comparison to my gaping mouth would be to a fish, thank you.”

Lance nearly face planted with Keith’s sudden and shockingly loud laughter as he doubled over to hold his stomach. As Lance caught his balance he couldn’t quite figure out if this weird Keith who seemed to be lacking his regular stick up his ass was doing this for the camera, or if he had genuinely found Lance’s joke funny.

The pondering was quickly dispelled, though, because who cared?

-

_“Keith’s laugh is really adorable. He snorts a bit and that would usually be gross but of course he pulls it off!”_

-

“What are you Love Gorgats doing back there?” Coran finally called behind him to the two. “There will be plenty of time for canoodling in each other’s arms after the pomp and circumstance. And don’t worry, there is indeed a honeymoon suite already booked! I checked it out myself!”

The thought of Coran seeing where the two were, to the knowledge of thousands or even millions of aliens who watched this show, supposed to get down and dirty sobered up the couple’s laugh fest real quick.

-

_“We don’t have time for a honeymoon. If we had it my way, me and Lance would just sign the papers and leave. If we need a vacation of alone time we can go camping, someplace quiet. Maybe even a beach. A secluded one though. I don’t want a lot of people around… what’s with that look?”_

-  

“How thoughtful of you,” Lance muttered. “So is this where the ceremony will be? ‘Cause it’s nice and everything but I’m not too keen on using fold out chairs. Especially because while I have no idea how many guests we’re having I feel that I am safe in assuming it’s in the hundreds and there is no way I’m forcing the staff to do all that.”

From his peripheral, Lance could see the producer clasp their four hands together in glee at his statement. Don’t get him wrong, it was a completely genuine sentiment as he had been subject to putting out and up an unfair amount of folding chairs in his life, but he was also aware that the Klamedians liked their Blue Paladin to always be thoughtful and kind hearted to others. Which he was, it just simply wasn’t the charming and devilishly handsome persona he was originally aiming for when he took up the lion and uniform. Must be a leg thing…

“Nope, this is merely the entryway,” Coran assured. “Onward to the ceremony hall!”

“You heard the man,” Keith said under his breath.

As the red paladin ushered his bride to move forward, Lance found his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Keith had seemed to have taken a heel turn in regards to his feelings about this ordeal. Mind you, to others who were close to him, which Lance considered himself to be what with the whole “I’m in your brain while in a giant robot made of lions in space”-thing, it was obvious he was very strained and was not comfortable. That made two of them, despite the former’s mild excitement at the start.

Then again, it was nice to see Keith not fighting the inevitable and making an effort to communicate so as not to frustrate their hosts. It made everything significantly easier to deal with and get out of the way, in order for everybody to just enjoy a huge party to end their successful journey. So it was great, technically…

He just wished Keith didn’t pull off casual intimacy so weirdly well, what with the hand on the small of Lance’s back applying a warm and gently pressure.

-

_“Keith really has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Everybody thinks that it’s me, but nope!”_

-

Doing his best to ignore it, which was a lot harder than he would have liked, Lance tried to focus on what Coran was saying.

“You see, boys, with such a large amount of guests the capital was the only true choice to be made,” he said with a twirl his mustache and of himself. “Size being the key reason. From what I’ve been shown, your guest lists grows with each passing dobash so it’s only natural that we book a venue with as much open space as possible for the reception. Not so much for the ceremony, however, as you will soon see! Only the top delegates and loved ones get to be face to face with that, the rest get a holo-screen outside. ”

With such a large amount of panache that should have been reserved for the wedding ceremony itself, Coran flung the double doors open to reveal a literally sparkling room filled with pews and floor length windows. It was as beautiful as the entryway, though still a bit too…

Earth-like.

Lance could feel his stomach dropping in uneasiness.

And by the sound of Keith’s curious hum from a spot way too close to Lance’s ear, he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding it.

“Ah ah, I see your concern, dear Lance,” Coran stated, confirming that Lance is not as good an actor as he thought he was. “While the space here is indeed rather plain, I assure you both that with all of the decorative fabrics and flowers that are to be adorned it will surely resemble that of the greatest  and most beautiful underwater volcano!”

“I mean,” Lance mumbled. He found it was getting a bit hard to get his voice to its regular loud volume, suddenly. “I trust you, just, you know… I guess I’m just having trouble envisioning it?”

“No, no I can see it!” Keith piped up, throwing not only Lance but also Coran for a loop.

As if only just then becoming aware that he was being watched by everybody, despite having about three camera things following him for the past two days, Keith seemed to try and bury his head in his jacket’s collar. Like a turtle, but more handsome and angry at everything. A breed of snapping turtle if you will.

-

_“Shiro calls me a turtle, too, and it’s not appreciated. Who told you that comparison? Actually, you know what, I want to know who’s writing these questions, period! Who’s your informant?!”_

-

With an audible gulp, Keith took a few steps down the aisle and turned around with his arms stretch out a bit.

“It’s because of the flowers we, or, I chose yesterday,” he started.

Lance raised an eyebrow in confusion but kept quiet.

“See, they’re red and blue, obviously, but they also have their own characteristics that are both different but complement each other. And I don’t know who decides how they’re arranged now that I’m thinking about it. Um, was I supposed to decide that yesterday, too? Or is somebody else going to…”

“It’s fine, Keith, continue,” Coran gently coaxed.

When he noticed Keith was also looking at him, Lance quickly nodded in agreement.

“Right,” Keith sighed, his nerves no longer so high it seemed. “Well, the blue ones had this weird liquid coming out of them. Like, it was almost similar to dry ice back on Earth, except it didn’t burn and it also sort of evaporated before it would actually get to the floor? Anyway, I think that if we put those along the aisle on the ends of the benches, it would look really cool when you walk down the aisle, Lance.”

Walk down the aisle?

Before he knew it, Lance’s hands were encased in Keith’s as the red paladin slowly walked backwards to tug his apparent blushing bride forward, as if to try and get him to fully picture it.

“Yeah, and the red flowers had spikes all along their petal leaves but also had, I guess I would call it glitter in their centers. It would probably be real interesting to see if that was pollen or poison, right? Anyway, I remember it reflected real nice some light, not a lot, but maybe we could do something with that?”

“Fantastic!” Coran cheered behind them. “Oh, perhaps they could be hung from the ceiling in various degrees of length?”

“Yeah, I like that! Oh, you know, that might work really well with that reflecting stuff I was just talking about. It might make the blue flower’s mist stuff look like it has stars in it. So that would incorporate your theme idea nicely without resorting to paper-mache, Lance.”

Lance barely made a squeak when he noticed he had been addressed.

The two were about halfway down the aisle at that point and had stopped.

“Your theme?” Keith quietly repeated, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “’Under the Sea Volcano’? You know, since stars are balls of fire so it would be like fire underwater. What do you think?”

“I…” Lance’s eyes darted around to avoid making eye contact with the man in front of him. He needed a little break. The sudden shift from Keith hating everything about the idea of even a fake marriage to him, to suddenly playing along too convincingly was becoming too much for Lance. “I feel a little light headed, the sun is nice and all but it makes everything so hot! Will-Will we be able to open some windows and let some air in during the, uh, ceremony?”

“Absolutely!” Coran assured. “Up ahead is the balcony that they two of you will be sealing your vows on, so how about you go check it out and get some air. I’ll go discuss the flower arrangements with some of the workers, see what we can do.”

With just a small nod, Lance quickly walked past Keith and opened the balcony doors only to practically throw himself onto the railing. He wasn’t hyperventilating, so that was good. It would be super embarrassing to have a panic attack on camera, because he knew damn well reality shows loved that stuff. It made everything more dramatic. Lance could admit to being pulled in with that stuff, it didn’t mean he was okay with himself being the subject of it, though.

No, his brain was just overwhelmed. Too much stimulation was draining and stressful.

“You okay?” said the cause of the overwhelming stimulation.

Part of Lance was flattered that Keith had followed to check on him, until the other part reminded him that the guy was just playing his part as “loving husband-to-be.” And if that didn’t make him feel worse, then the hand on his elbow sure did.

“Yeah,” Lance whispered. “And you don’t have to keep touching me so much. I don’t know if you ever watched these types of shows back on Earth since they didn’t involve running around in the desert looking for things that don’t exist-”

“But the Blue Lion did exist-”

“-BUT the couples weren’t all over each other, believe it or not. So you don’t have to be, either, I know you’re not big on that even in a friendly manner.”

Keith appeared to consider this statement, before taking his hand back and joining Lance in looking out over the garden. Sure enough, there was the maze Coran had mentioned to them, sprawling impressively over nearly a third of the estate. Just from a glance you could tell that the middle was the goal given the intricate style of it purposely drawing your eye towards the center. The Earth ones usually had a water fountain as a sort of prize located there. It made Lance curious as his eyes darted and roamed over the hedge-like plants, attempted to find the best route to it.

“Are you seriously trying to solve that thing?” Keith suddenly asked, making Lance jump a bit. He wasn’t expecting Keith to be the one to break their short silence. He was actually counting on him not to.

“And why shouldn’t I?” he asked in return.

“Not saying you shouldn’t, just don’t see the point. We’re not going to have any time to actually try and go in there. Besides, it makes more sense to just cut down the plants, waste of time.”

“Ugh, I’m marrying Mr. Pyscho. Please tell me we’re going to raise our children to be cautious when approaching situations, okay? I will not have our family be an embarrassment beholden by the entire universe.”

Keith gave him an incredulous look for a full five seconds before crossing his arms tightly and turning back to the garden maze. “Whatever you say, puddin’ pop.”

It was Lance’s turn to be in shocked confusion at his partner’s statement. For one thing, he wasn’t arguing like is to be expected from their relationship, and for another… was that a pet name? A term of endearment? A peak into Keith’s hidden Texan past? Lance didn’t remember Keith being around any potentially embarrassing incidents involving pudding pops in his past, so the name wouldn’t work as an insult.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?!” Lance suddenly blew up, alerting the attention of the cameras so they could zoom in. “Why are you being so cooperative? You were pissed to hell, like, less than a day ago, Hunk told me all about your public temper tantrum, so what gives now, huh? I have this all covered, you don’t need to interfere and mess it up!”

“’Mess it up?’”

And yes, yikes, that was not a good way to put it.

“How is me trying to be involved in our own wedding ‘messing it up,’ huh? I thought you would be happy that I actually gave a crap about how the flowers looked or what food you would be able to eat without puking your guts out and pissing off Allura in the process!”

“And I do!”

“Then what’s your problem?”

“I just…! I don’t know, God, there’s so much going on so fast and it’s a lot and.. it’s a lot.”

Lance couldn’t look at Keith at that moment. He just made sure to keep his back to the cameras as he didn’t want them capturing the too real emotions he was feeling. Because it was a lot, it was a lot to be marrying somebody who barely tolerated your existence and you could only hope considered you at least a friend. It was a lot to know that it would never be more than that, but you were expected to pretend to be a happy couple, ecstatic that you were marrying the love of your life. It wasn’t like Lance could use that exact phrase of words to describe Keith to himself, but the hope was there.

Amazing how a wedding to that person could somehow diminish your hopes even further than they were.

“Look, I get it,” Keith sighed out. “It is a lot. And I wasn’t helping at all by just pouting that it was dumb when it’s also inevitable. So I decided to help. Why is that a problem, exactly? I thought it would make things be less ‘a lot.’”

Still not looking at the red paladin, Lance could only focus on the maze. He had started from the goal and looked for the best path to the entrance. Doing things backwards tended to help him. His brain was jumping into overdrive and couldn’t settle on a specific thing to confess to Keith that would also work with the cameras hovering, the crew manning them probably salivating like crazy with this drama.

“You are helping,” Lance mumbled. He had found that the maze was favoring a circular path. It didn’t really help. “And I appreciate it…”

“But?”

There were a lot of dead ends, it made it easier to just skip over a lot of useless turns.

“But… it’s not really important, right?”

He could see out of his peripheral that Keith had turned slightly, probably confused by his statement. That was okay, Lance wasn’t sure where he was going with this conversation outside of just trying to end it, and his path for the maze was starting to make more sense.

“I mean, this stress will all be over in less than a day! I’m probably overreacting, I haven’t done much except order people around and try on dresses. You’ve technically done more. Plus, it’ll be worth it tomorrow!”

Yup, the maze was solved and so was his decision with this entire mess.

Straightening up, Lance turned to see Keith still staring at him. It looked like he wanted to say something, not surprising considering how quick of a heel turn Lance just pulled off, but one quick glance to the crew behind them and Keith seemed to catch on to the game.

“Right,” he grumbled, stuffing his hands on his pockets. “You’re right. Everybody is high strung about this.”

“Uh huh,” Lance agreed. “I just need to get over it.”

That ended up being the mantra he kept repeating in his head as Coran finally called them over to start directing their places for the ceremony. Just get over it, it’ll be over soon and they don’t have to ever remember or acknowledge that this thing ever happened. And that was for the best.

Just get over it and power through the next day.

-

_“Lance and me have our fights, yeah, and I’m not surprised we fought before our wedding. It’s nuts doing this so fast, but what can you do?”_

-

_“Yeah, it happens…”_

-

The rehearsal was awful.

That was a lie, it went swimmingly well, a pun Lance had thought of when approached by the cameras again, but didn’t have the energy to make. If he did, he’d have to laugh to make sure they got that it was supposed to be a joke, and then they would laugh, too, albeit probably awkwardly since they wouldn’t get that it was an Earth phrase that also worked as a pun when Lance would say it. Water Guardian and all.

See, even thinking all of that was a huge chore. Which was what the entire rehearsal and following dinner was.

“Don’t worry, man,” Hunk murmured from beside him at the table, Keith on his opposite as they were at the head of the table. “The food we picked up will be way more appetizing than this stuff. Which is weird because I’m pretty sure on Earth the couple also chooses the rehearsal menu? I don’t know, probably not enough time since that took forever.”

“Yeah, probably,” Lance agreed.

The blue paladin poked his meat-like leaf thing with what resembled a fork, only for it to deflate on him. The air that came out smelled like kiwis.

Hunk gave him a concerned look before leaning over a bit and asking, “Everything good?”

Under normal circumstance, Lance would have at least taken a moment to consider spilling his guts to his best friend on the team. Whether or not he would was an entirely different matter when you take in the subject in question was sitting just on his other side. Never the less, only one quick notice of a camera zooming in on them, no doubt smelling the possibility of drama, and Lance was back to mentally telling himself to “get over it.”

“Just tired, man,” he told him.

“Think you should get to bed early?” Keith of all people decided to butt in. Even Hunk gave him a curious look before deciding it best to go back to his food. Though, not without obviously ease dropping. His curiosity was too strong. “I don’t want to hear you complaining about how your ‘beauty sleep’ was ruined on our big day.”

Our, huh?

Lance didn’t respond and just went for a little chuckle with a half assed smile. Before anyone could question him on his lack of response to Keith’s snark, he quickly took a mouthful of his food before chugging a full glass of water. It seemed to successfully deter Keith was continuing to try and talk to him, as well as Hunk.

It made for an awkward dinner, but luckily their hosts were more than happy to fill in any silence that might occur. And Keith was doing a fantastic job of deflecting questions directed at Lance to himself. The Klamedians ate up what they saw as “protectiveness” since Lance was obviously a jumble of nerves. It wasn’t too far from true, and on the plus side Keith was finally attempting diplomacy. Lance better get credit for that one.

“Attention, please, may I have everyone’s attention!” Coran announced. The man had stood up on his chair for easy visibility while tapping a spoon to his glass. The room went silent, waiting for him to continue. “I thank you all not only for your attention but also for hospitality and help in planning all of this for our team. At this time, the Princess Allura would like to say a few words.”

Lance sat up straight, stock still, as he watched Allura climb up on a chair herself, her skirt neatly gathered and giggling. Shiro sat beside her, arm up just in case she slipped, and Pidge from across the table next to Hunk had taken her holo phone out again to film it. Lance was curious how much “behind the scenes” shots she had gotten after their dress outing. Keith, meanwhile, actually leaned forward in apparent anticipation.

“Yes, well,” Allura began, “needless to say these past few days have been a whirlwind of activity and planning for everybody. I would like to add my thanks with Coran’s on everybody’s generous efforts put into all of this to make it work.”

At this she began to gently applaud, prompting everybody else to as a sign of good cheer. Lance could feel a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

“But the true gratitude I’d like to give is to the two who we’re all here to watch go into the next chapter of their lives together: Lance and Keith. I’ve witnessed the two of you have a rocky start when you first came together as paladins of Voltron, though through it all managed to become closer than ever before. I don’t think I’ve seen a relationship quite like theirs, yet so perfect for their roles as paladins. Fire and ice somehow working together to create something beautiful and unique, something that will always stand together as not only lovers but friends and teammates. Then again I think we all saw it coming because despite all of this, even the day before your own wedding, you still fight as if you’ve been married for decades for now! Which I hope to end up being true in the future. To Lance and Keith!”

“To Lance and Keith!” the entire room repeated, laughing, their glasses raised in the air at the impromptu toast.

Everybody except Lance. The words Allura had just spoken were so earnestly said, it nearly brought tears to his eyes. He couldn’t help but turn his attention to Keith, as well, and saw him smiling of all things, happily laughing as he held his glass up with the others. It was sweet and wonderful seeing him like this.

It was all too much theater to get over for his Big Day.

-


	5. Episode 4 (Part 1): Big Day, Big Plans, Big Expectations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the start of my original concept for this fic, which, incidentally, is inspired from an episode of Rugrats of all things...

-

Keith could say one thing in relation to a wedding he never planned on having but wasn’t exactly dreading anymore: he looked damn good in the formal paladin uniform. That Altean spandex-type fabric from the regular uniform was still a staple, only there was now a fancy jacket in his typical red colors with white accents, and even a sash with badges that he didn’t understand the purpose of, but also didn’t feel the need to ask about. He had much more important things, like trying to avoid Shiro giving him the “I’m so proud of you”-speech. It was highly unnecessary, but his brother figure seemed to have been swept up into the reality show drama as yet another casualty.

“You’ve just come so far!” the man was near sobbing. Whether it was fake or real was a concerning question. “It feels like just yesterday you were causing trouble at the Garisson. Now I’ve blinked and suddenly you’re grown and getting married and just.. I don’t know how to handle it all, it’s happening too fast!”

“I’ll say,” Keith mumbled, remembering for a moment Lance’s mini meltdown the other day. He hoped his "bride" was fairing better.

“There’s a musical number very fitting for this scenario,” Pidge said from her spot on a plush sofa. “’Fiddler on the Roof,’ but the song is called something like ‘Sunrise, Sunset.’ It’s pretty good… Shiro, how well can you sing?”

“Nobody knows, and nobody is going to find out!” Keith was done with adding new and unnecessary bits for this wedding. He had used up all of his creativity for the arrangements, something even he was shocked how decent they had turned out to be when shown that morning. Sure, there were a few differences from his original idea, but that was too be expected since he wasn’t a florist and didn’t have much experience decorating even his own living arrangements.

It seemed that theory boards didn’t count as decor.  

“Chill, dude,” Pidge continued, as Shiro joined her on the sofa to try and pull himself together. “If Lance isn’t stressed about getting married then neither should you.”

“Lance isn’t stressed?” Shiro asked (at this point one of the attendants not poking at Keith had given their esteemed leader a handkerchief to dab his eyes with). “I would think he would be ordering everybody around by now. Well, assuming Allura isn’t already.”

“Oh, she is! Out of the three different places I wish I were right now, in that I’m stuck here and don’t have a choice, witnessing the princess yell at people over draping and vase placements is by far the most entertaining. But I was curious how you two were holding up, and it’s a good thing I came here since somebody who is not the groom is apparently in need of emotional support.” Giving Shiro a pat on the head, Pidge turned her attention back to Keith. “And seriously, Lance is kind of quiet and just kind of taking everything in stride. I mean, before he was super enthusiastic, and then he just kind of started to mellow as the week went on. You notice that?”

Keith had.

“Yeah, I have,” Shiro said. “I’ll be honest, I’ve been keeping a closer eye on Keith since between the two of them he posed a bigger concern in regards to socially unacceptable behavior being broadcast across a galaxy.”

“Hey!”

“Keith, you practically mauled that magazine stand worker, you have no room to debate my past assumption since I was proven right.” Before Keith could attempt to win a losing argument, the clothing attendant shoved him back to face them in an attempt to fix his rather pointless sash properly. “Anyway, Lance definitely seems really drained. It got worse as the week went on, and I wanted to ask him about it but, uh…”

Coughing as Shiro subtly tilted his head towards the ever present cameras, Keith could see realization dawning on Pidge’s face in her reflection in his mirror. At the present time the devices were focused on him and the details of his outfit, but surely they were also catching this possibility of drama so it was best to be cautious. They had to keep a confident face for the universe, especially in regards to televised events.

“Yeah,” Pidge drawled. “He’s been way too busy to get a hold of, maybe he’s just tired?”

“Probably,” Shiro agreed. To the viewers, it would look like an end to a discussion. To the people who knew them, it was more of a promised continuation to discuss it further and probably with Lance himself once they got away from all of the publicity.

Keith wasn’t blind, he just didn’t necessarily like to speak up about things often. That meant that people would be staring at him, and he didn’t do too well as the center of attention. Yet another reason he was fine with Lance being the “bride” considering even he was aware that the groom was more of an accessory to the ceremony. The real attention was on the bride, in this case Lance. Which made the other night’s behavior from him all the more out of character. A dinner all about him, that was a pre cursor to an even bigger ceremony and dinner all about him and to a lesser degree Keith, and all Lance really did was pick at his food and only respond to conversations as opposed to starting them. It was weird, and Keith was glad that the others had taken notice of the fact, as well.

A knock at the more elaborate than necessary doors switched everybody’s attention.

“You guys good in here?” Hunk asked as he poked his head in.

“Me and Keith are, can’t same the same about Shiro,” Pidge answered.

Stuffing the handkerchief in his pocket, Shiro stood up while bopping Pidge on the head. “I’m fine, just a little… emotional.”

“About what?”

“Quiet, you. But yes, Hunk, we’re pretty much ready. Is the ceremony already close to starting?”

“Yeah, I was actually in the kitchens helping with the ice cream cake since the Klamedians didn’t know what that was, but Coran grabbed me and told me to get you three out there while Allura has started greeting the guests before they’re seated. Lance gave me the okay to leave, before anybody questions me, and he was already done so it looks like we’re good on all fronts.”

“Great. How about you, Keith?”

The attendants took that as their queue to start dispersing, giving Keith one last good look at himself in the mirrors while his friends looked on behind him. The formal paladin uniform certainly was quite dashing, while the other three were in various suits still pertaining to their color. It was all rather gaudy, admittedly, but Keith knew that Lance would get a big kick out of it. It brought a bit of a smile to his face imagining the blue paladin getting upset over how cool Keith looked and that he should have worn his formal uniform, too.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Keith sighed, smile still in place.

Yes, he might have been a little giddy at seeing Lance on their “big day.”

-

The producers didn’t seem as keen on the interviews once the day of the wedding had arrived. Probably because they didn’t have time, which was fine with Keith. He was done answering questions about his “thoughts” on Lance’s ideas or how he viewed his experience so far, whatever that meant. He just bullshitted his way through most of it, anyway.

However, having that kind of distraction would have been nice while Keith stood as awkwardly as possible at the altar.

Shiro kept giving him reassuring looks as he stood at his side, but no, that was just making everything worse. For something that wasn’t real, it sure was starting to feel way too real to be comfortable.

Pidge stood behind Shiro, her own gaze focused down the aisle as Allura was escorted up with the leading dignitary of the planet. The music playing was admittedly odd, but nice, if you were not Keith and thus able to pay a decent amount of attention to it. Hunk was opposite Keith and looked absolutely thrilled to be there, along with the tiny rock bearers that the traditional Klamedian ceremony deemed necessary. What did they do? Keith didn’t know, that was for damn sure, because he was too busy freaking out as Allura took her position beside Hunk and the music suddenly changed and the rocks were set on the floor and then everybody was standing.

The doors opened up with a large clang and Keith held his breath.

This was the start of what their little freedom group had been fighting for on this planet, what would seal the deal of an alliance.

As soon as Lance walked done the aisle, it would be set.

The entire crowd was looking back in hushed excitement as the music droned on and…

Lance was nowhere to be seen.

That wasn’t how they had rehearsed things the other day, Keith pondered, and it seemed so did a very large majority of the other attendants if the increase in murmurs was anything to go by. Keith furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he noticed the ushers who had opened the doors looking back into the hallway, one even running into it while the other looked back to the front, his long eyebrows twitching in worry.

The guests were starting to look around, too, as if they were missing something while the music continued even if it clearly was looping now in order to keep with the order of things. Keith turned to Allura, only to find her clutching her flower tight enough to where it could count as strangulation. That was all Keith needed to see to know that, yes, something was not right.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND LANCE?!” Coran suddenly shouted to another attendant behind them.

The entire room hushed as their attention turned to the Altean, who’s mustache was frazzled, hands clenched into fists, and eyes wider than a deer’s in headlights.

Seeming to notice that everybody was now staring at him, Coran shifted his eyes over for a second before quickly turning fully to face the crowd and straighten his appearance. “Dearest Klamedian Delegates, it seems we are experiencing some technical difficulties so-”

“What exactly are you speaking of?!” the Esteemed High Councilman that had escorted Allura down the aisle exclaimed. “Where is the Blue Paladin?!”

By this point the entire room had erupted into controlled chaos, everybody speaking and looking around. Keith, however, was focused on the cameras and how positively giddy the producers were looking at the moment.

“I assure you, High Councilman, that the Blue Paladin is surely around here somewhere and-”

“But he is not where he is supposed to be at this particular time, is he, Princess? Do you take my people’s customs as a joke?!”

“We take them very seriously!” Shiro cut in. He then turned to the security guarding the entryways as both decoration and precautions while the Defenders of the Universe were busy. “Have there been any glitches in security, even the slightest possibility that the Galra may have broken in?”

“The Galra?” Hunk squeaked. “You think Lance might have been kidnapped?!”

The camera beside Keith’s face started to zoom in obnoxiously as the red paladin clenched his jaw.

“We can’t really rule it out, can we?!” Pidge answered, already syncing up a tiny pocket computer to the building’s system. “I don’t see any missing time or malfunctions of the cameras, here, but that doesn’t mean much.”

“The Galra aren’t here!” the High Councilman scoffed.

“Then what’s your idea on where Lance is, huh?!”

“Look, we all need to calm down and think with clear heads,” Shiro tried to sooth. “Pidge is right, we can’t rule out any possibilities so it’s probably best to do a sweep of the grounds and then go from there.”

“Where would the Blue Paladin be even hidden?” the High Councilman challenged. “We have dignitaries from all over our planet here for this specific event, and even more citizens crammed into the streets! It’s impossible for him to be anywhere that he wouldn’t be seen, outside of his own changing room and I know for a fact he was escorted out of there.”

“He is right,” Allura said to Shiro. “Lance was directly behind us on the walk down here.”

A second camera had joined the first in trying to get Keith’s reactions to this news. He was focusing his eyes on Pidge as she bit her nails, while his ears were still listening in on the others. That didn’t mean that the cameras were ignored. In fact, they were greatly unappreciated at the time.

“Were there any guards behind him?” Shiro asked Allura.

“No… and I believe that that is because the producers of this entire production claimed that anybody behind him would ‘ruin the shot.’ What say you to that, Esteemed High Councilman?”

The Klamedian in question baulked at the hidden accusation the princess had dared to throw at him. “What exactly are you implying, Your Highness? I repeat, there are far too many guests to have be even considering a kidnapping!”

“Not if it was done by your own people,” Pidge offered.

“What reason would there be for such a thing?!”

“I don’t know, creepy fan crap?!”

“Are we all sure that the Galra are not here and using some sort of cloaking device?” Hunk piped up again. “Because I’m pretty sure they can probably use a cloaking device!”

“The Galra have not arrived, I know this for a fact!”

“Yelling is not getting us anywhere, we need-”

“We need to have an actual meeting of politicians, not some silly televised event that has nothing to do with negotiations in the slightest!”

“Seriously, it’s more like blackmail!”

“Blackmail?! I don’t believe I heard any complaints when we offered our services!”

“We really should have kept a better eye on those two during the tours, we could have avoided all of this.”

“The only thing we needed to avoid was losing sight of Lance! Why wasn’t your security doing anything?!”

“It was certainly doing more than you paladins!”

“How DARE you!”

“Allura, wait!”

“Aw, finally,” one of the camera men next to Keith muttered. “I was waiting for something juicy to happen!”

The room was thrown back into silence when Keith’s anger finally sky rocketed, leaving his body on autopilot as it reeled back and punched the camera, effectively destroying it. Before the Klamedian holding it was even on the ground, Keith was halfway down the aisle leaving chaos control to the others. He was sick of holding up a fake face for the sake of "publicity" and instead wanted to focus on what was important, finally.

Plus, he actually had an idea where Lance was, and he would be damned if there was going to be anybody else to see him if his instincts were correct.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was at first going to be the last chapter before the epilogue, but I felt it should be cut in half. It was getting looooooong... most of my chapters are for all of my stories, yes, but scene wise it made sense to cut it. 
> 
> :D


	6. Episode 4 (Part 2): Much Smaller Plans for a Much Smaller Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blocked off the seasonal depression long enough this morning to AT LONG LAST write the last thousand+ words of this chapter. Very pleased I got this done before the end of the year. Despite all of the hardships this year has thrown at me, I feel finishing (kinda) this on the last day of 2017 is a nice thing. :)

-

Sliding down the gutter off the side of the building wasn’t much trouble, but trying not to shove over all of the attendants setting up for the reception in the courtyard he was running through certainly was. Coran had been right, it really was the only place that wasn’t crowded with guests at the time of the ceremony, and luckily the workers were dedicated enough that even though their curiosity as to why the Red Paladin was running around the gardens when he was supposed to be getting married was obvious, they all seemed to diligently keep working.

Besides, they probably figured they would read all about it in their gossip holo-columns, or whatever.

At that point Keith didn’t give any craps about what was published about them. He had been way too concerned about that all week. He could see Lance wasn’t happy, he wasn’t well, and had practically ignored it for fear of the publicity. If a planet was more concerned about how their precious paladins looked and expressed their apparent love for one another more than helping protect the universe or each other, then it was an alliance that wasn’t worth their time.

Sliding to a stop in front of the impressive garden maze, Keith made a quick decision and ran in first. After making a few turns, he then pulled out his bayard, activated his sword and began slashing through the thing. He didn’t want to draw more attention to himself and also have a trail to follow, but he also didn’t want to waste time actually trying to find the center. So long as he followed the sun, he kept in a straight line. Surely that would lead him to the middle eventually.

Stopping for a moment to catch his breath, Keith paused and listened.

Sure enough, he could hear water fairly close by. That could only be from the fountain, a structure that Coran had painstakingly explained to them in great detail.

The fountain's structure was abstract, but the Klamedian's said there was a meaning behind the orbs and swirls. The orbs were said to represent an individual or a planet. And as there were many orbs around each other, the same goes for planets and people. The rings that passed through an orb, but intermingled with another orbs' rings, were to represent how each planet in the solar system rotated around each other. But it also represented another person. Could be an acquaintance, a friend, or a lover. Most often times, it represented a lover for all the romantics. The structure was meant to show unity, how no one was alone, and somehow you would come into someone's life in some meaningful way.

So of course that was where Lance was, Keith just knew it.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Keith took his sword and gave one, two, three more slices before bursting through one particular hedge and being met with the infamous fountain, it’s orbs sure enough swirling around as the water glided through it.

And there Lance was, sitting on the wall of it and crying.

Keith was slightly regretting his good instincts.

The Blue Paladin wasn’t facing him at the moment, somehow missing his groom nearly bursting through a plant wall to get to him. His eyes were clenched shut, and he was biting his lip in what seemed to be an attempt to muffle his crying. He was also, sure enough, in his wedding gown that he had at first been so excited about. What had changed that?

“You okay?” Keith lamely asked.

Lance’s eyes snapped open, his head jerking so hard to look at Keith that it was amazing it hadn’t snapped clear off. His blue eyes widened in panic and he quickly stood to turn his back to the Red Paladin.

“You-You know you’re not supposed to see the bride before the wedding, right?!” Lance rushed out. “Bad luck and stuff.”

“Yeah, well, I hate to inform said bride of this, but the wedding’s already started.”

The stiffness in Lance’s back gave away that he was fully aware of this. So Keith was right, again. The bride had run away on his own.

Deciding it best to not start yelling at Lance about how worried and pissed everybody was, Keith deactivated his sword and made his way over to the guy to look at the fountain with him. Well, more honestly to look at Lance. The gown he was in was definitely stunning, and him standing up only enhanced how long it made his legs look. The back was open and cut low enough to show off the deep curve in his back, and gathered tight around his upper thighs, only to splay out towards the bottom making it look like a mermaid’s tail. Meanwhile, the front was fairly modest, a bit of a high neck embroidered with jewels, the bodice swimming with delicate, light blue lace and sheer sleeves detailed with pearls around the hands.

Lance looked stunning, to say the least.

It wasn’t something Keith had been expecting, but then again, a lot of the past week had been unexpected. It was an emotional roller coaster.

“I like your flower crown,” Keith finally said as he stood next to his bride. Lance turned his face a bit to him as he desperately tried to wipe away tears. His eyes were like saucers and he was looking at him as if he had grown a second head. “It’s just, you know… it’s a nice touch an-and it looks really good on you, so yeah… I like it.”

Lance let out a choked sob that he immediately tried to cover up with his hands, making Keith quickly grab his shoulders and guide him to sit back down. He knew he wasn’t the best at comforting others, but surely he wasn’t bad enough to have what he thought was a compliment make things worse?

“Do you not like them?” he desperately continued. “Crap, I knew it wasn’t a good idea to put me in charge of flowers, I didn’t know that it would also be part of your dress, I’m sorry!”

“No!” Lance heaved, ripping himself away from Keith’s grip. “It-It’s not the st-stupid flowers, stupid!”

“Well then tell me what ‘it’ is already! I don’t know how aware you are right now of all the shit that’s going down back at our wedding, but it’s not good, Lance! You’re upset about something, we all get that, it’s obvious and has been for at least two days, but you got to tell us what it is so we can fix it, ya’ know?!”

So much for not yelling at him. Sure enough, that made it worse and left Lance doubled over and worrying Keith that he was going to hyperventilate with how much he was crying and gasping. Keith’s mind was starting to panic even more than when Lance was missing, only this time his instincts were giving him nothing. It was one thing to go running off to some place you had a hunch about, it was another thing entirely comforting someone who you had no idea what the problem actually was.

“Lance,” Keith hesitantly began again, a hand raised yet too nervous to touch. “You were fine at the start of this week. Please tell me what happened?”

“Nothing happened!” Lance snapped. He suddenly sprung up again, as if his body was too wound up to stay in one spot. “I just don’t want to get married! You don’t want to get married, either, so I don’t even know why I’m suddenly the only one around here with any sort of sense!”

“Don’t want…? Lance, what are you talking about? This is fake, all of this is fake for some shallow alliance we barely even need!  Are you seriously getting yourself this worked up for something that’s not even real?”

“It’s real for me!”

Keith had been in the process of standing up himself, only to pretty much fall back onto his butt in surprise. It was “real” for Lance? How could that even be? Lance was flirty and perhaps a little too set on having a relationship, but how could he start to confuse what everybody knew to be a mistake of a wedding to be in any way the real thing?

“Stop looking at me like I’m crazy,” he mumbled, eyes still leaking tears but gaze set on the ground.

“Can you blame me?” Keith sputtered. “You’re not possibly desperate enough to confuse marrying me for-for your idea of a happy ending or something, right?”

“Trust me when I say that when I day dream about you and me together, I keep full awareness that in real life it wouldn't ever happen.”

Time stopped for about five seconds as that sentence processed its way through Keith’s brain, and by the time he realized exactly what Lance was implying, he swore his eyes had nearly popped out of his skull.

Lance had a _crush_ on him.

And they were _pretending_ to get married.

The events of the past few days suddenly made a lot more sense.

“I… you… us?” Keith choked out, to which Lance rolled his eyes while wiping away more tears. He could see a blush forming on the bride’s cheeks, along with small smears of make-up under his eyes. In the back of Keith’s mind he briefly wondered why they didn’t have water proof mascara on this planet given the technological advances of the universe.

“Yeah,” Lance breathed out. “Look, you don’t have to worry about it, I get it, I’m not as dumb as you all like to claim and I’ll get over this, okay? I-I’m overreacting, I know, but I just needed some time alone and away from the cameras because I hated how I was feeling and I knew if I didn’t leave right then, then I’d be breaking down in front of everybody and it would be obvious that it wasn’t in the ‘I’m so happy’ since I’m such an ugly crier and that would be bad but-but… God, it doesn’t matter does it?! I’ve already fucked this up, Allura is probably pissed and I bet I ended up insulting the Royal Council and this was so stupid, I’m sorry, I-”

“I punched a camera.”

That got Lance to stop his rant, which was good because his breathing was becoming erratic. It also got him to finally look at Keith again, eyes wide and watery.

Keith cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, “Me and everybody else were really worried about you, ya’ know? And, yeah, things got crazy, obviously, but then the crew were just eating it up when you could have been hurt or in danger and then this one was all in my face so, yeah. I punched him. Now I’m here.”

As Lance continued to stare at him in disbelief, Keith motioned to his side in the hopes that Lance would sit back down. Thankfully he took the invitation and practically melted onto the fountain stoop as it whirled on behind them. The Blue Paladin continued to stare straight ahead, not saying a word, while Keith tried not to stare at him while doing so. He was concerned for Lance, but also confused by him. He liked Keith?

In the distance they could hear some sort of commotion going on, but considering the recent events that had happened it was to be expected. So long as they didn’t get any closer, Keith figured they could chill for a bit. Lance clearly needed some chill time.

“So… You want to marry me for real?” Keith asked against his better judgment.

“Oh my god,” Lance sighed. He buried his face in his hands and groaned in obvious embarrassment. Keith would have loved to join him in that, admittedly, but his instincts said Lance wouldn’t appreciate it. “No, I don’t want to marry you!”

“But you like me?”

“For some reason, yeah.”

“What are those reasons?”

“Keith!”

“Alright, alright, too much. But will you answer this next question, at least?”

Lance lifted his face from his hands and side eyed him, his blush much deeper than before. “Maybe.”

“If you like me, then why don’t you want to marry me? I’m kind of confused on that.”

“Are you serious?”

As an answer, Keith just gave Lance a blank stare to try to convey he had never been more serious in his entire life. That statement wasn’t true, but it was certainly close to being true, at least in matters concerning Lance. The Blue Paladin seemed to get this because all of the air appeared to deflate out of him for a second before coming back in a huge gulp that made him stand up for the millionth time, the stress of everything making it near impossible for him to sit still with all of the energy running through him.

“I don’t want to marry you,” Lance began, almost mumbling, “right now. In that, I, you know… want to _date_ you first?”

Keith felt his eyebrows furrow in thought. Date…?

“I mean, part of the fun of a relationship is getting to know each other, right? And, well, yeah, I’d say we know each other pretty well what with the whole Voltron thing, it-it is part of why I do like you this much, but I still want to know the silly little things about you like what your evening routine is, or if you even have one!”

A date with Lance was something he had never thought of. It felt silly thinking of it now what with the fact that their wedding was technically going on right then, but the thought of it didn’t seem unappealing.

“And dates are fun, it’s just the two of us, or, uh, two people and like, you know, you do silly things together and try new things together and laugh about it if it sucks. Dates are fun and I want to have fun with you!”

In fact, a date with Lance didn’t sound horrible at all. Lance was absolutely a lot of fun to be around. Keith wouldn’t lie in that even when they were arguing he got a bit of a kick out of it. Teasing Lance had gotten to be really entertaining, what with the little pout that would form on his lips and how he would huff and cross his arms while delivering a hilariously bad retort that he always looked so proud of. Keith would actually even go so far as to say it was almost… cute?

“We kind of only recently started being able to talk with each other like normal human beings, or one normal human and one normal half human half galra. And yeah, I know that that makes it even more weird that I like you when you take how much we’ve fought into account, but even when I was jealous of you, God, I still thought you were so cool and really, really handsome, hair aside. I sound so lame right now, but even in the Garisson I wished you would tutor me in the flight simulator so that not only would I improve but it always sounded really romantic.”

Lance and him alone in a kind of dark and small space, huh? Taking a moment to imagine it, Lance sitting down while Keith hovered over him, their hands possibly touching, Keith could admit to the… romantic appeal of it. It didn’t sound terrible. It didn’t sound terrible at all, honestly.

"Not to mention that you'd actually get to meet my family and then my family would be with me, and not a bajillion light years away. They could participate in the ceremony like I've always imagined for my wedding, and not to mention we'd get a choice in stuff. I look great in this dress, yeah, but come on! I don't want this, I don't want random rocks thrown around the tacky government building while howler monkey chanting is deafening all of the Earthlings!"

Keith could feel a blush coming on. Lance would want him to meet his family? He liked him that much?

“I’m getting off topic. The point is that I really want to date you and now this whole wedding thing probably ruined any iota of a chance I might have had in this reality or any other one and, I don’t know, maybe that’s also why I’m so upset about everything right now?”

Dates weren’t marriage. They didn’t mean anything permanent. Lance said himself, dates were to get to know the other person on a deeper level.

“God this is so embarrassing. Look, you don’t have to worry about all of this, I’ll get over it. I’m sure Hunk will be more than willing to whip up a couple gallons of ice cream for me.”

It was settled, Keith knew what he wanted.

Before Lance could say anything else, Keith stood up, took three large steps towards the other boy and knelt on one knee in front of him. While Lance’s eyes grew large in confusion, Keith took his hand in his own and said, “Lance, will you go on a date with me?”

In the distance, they could hear the commotion getting louder. Whether it was because there were more people out there or they were getting closer to finding the two runaways didn’t matter at the time.

“Are you fucking with me?” Lance slowly asked.

“No,” Keith replied, this time absolutely more serious with Lance than he had ever been. “I won’t lie, I haven’t ever thought of dating you before.”

“Wow, way to make a great case for this, buddy.”

“ _Because_ , and I think you can agree with this, I’m an awkward loner who has the social skills equal to the size of an amoeba.”

“… Go on.”

“But I’m thinking of it now, and… yeah, that stuff sounds nice. I like the idea of getting to know you better, spending time alone with you sounds nice, and, well, you might have noticed my hand is getting sweaty right now and I think I’ve read that that’s a symptom of liking someone, right?”

Lance smiled, which made Keith smile. Standing up, he continued, “Basically I agree. Marriage is too fast, but dating takes things slower. And I want that. To date you and see how things go, that is.”

Lance looked down again, but still had a small smile on his face. He had a nice smile, Keith noticed. He was pretty sure it had always been that nice, it was just at that moment he finally noticed and appreciated it.

“You sure you aren’t just jumping into this without thinking?” Lance finally asked.

“Oh, I’m absolutely doing that,” Keith said. “Because it’s what I always do and it always works out. I guess you could say it’s ‘my thing?’”

Now, Keith had never considered himself to be particularly funny and pretty much everybody reinforced this notion, but the stars must have been aligned perfectly because after he said that Lance was doubled over, clutching his sides and laughing his ass off. There were tears still in his eyes, Keith noticed, but they at least finally seemed to be caused by some form of cheer.

“It is!” Lance gasped out. “You’re an absolute wreck!”

“And you like me,” Keith pointed out, chuckling a bit at the end. “What does that say about you?”

“That I like a project, apparently.”

“Does that also mean that you’ll go on an official date with me?”

Looking Keith in the eyes, Lance's face was glowing as if they were already standing at the altar. “Yeah. I will.”

“Good. I… thanks.”

Thankfully, Lance seemed to decide not to comment on Keith thanking him for agreeing to go on a date (again: social skills the size of an amoeba), and instead grabbed his kind of groom’s elbow to arrange them to how they had been instructed to walk down the aisle together. There was no aisle in the maze, of course, so Keith took it to mean it was time to go back and face the consequences of running away before a technical political marriage and/or punching a no doubt expensive camera. Interestingly, he felt a lot lighter going into a situation where he knew they would be reprimanded versus that same morning. Looking at Lance’s happy, yet splotchy, face, he figured it was because he knew Lance was okay then. It was always best when the Blue Paladin was happy.

“By the way,” Lance began, as Keith helped him through the hacked up shrubs, “we’re going to have to explain this crap to the Klamedians. I got an idea if you don’t have one.”

“Eh,” Keith grunted. “I was just thinking we play if off like some Korean Drama or something.”

“Ha, holy quiznack! I was thinking the same thing except a Telenovela! That shit’s crazy, it’ll work perfectly.”

“Yeah, we can pretty much tell them exactly what happened, just amp the drama up a couple thousand degrees.”

“It’s what we do best!”

While Lance listed off a bunch of soap opera tropes they could sprinkle into their story to help boost ratings for possibly eternity for the show as an apology, Keith found himself looking forward to the reception. He was kind of considering it their first date.

You know, after they got married.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue thing after this! But yes, thank you so much to PookElucy for sticking by me through all of this, especially considering how she was the PITCH HITTER artist for me meaning she did two of these big bangs! She's super awesome and a BEAST with her art. Seriously, she's had this done for months and so I'm so glad I was able to put this out so we can show you guys this FINALLY since it was sort of the focus of, you know... THE ENTIRE STORY. Show her some love!
> 
> https://pookelucy-art.tumblr.com/post/164265879478/my-drawings-for-sweet-rabbits-fic-cold-feet


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